So it's been a loooooooong ass time since I've done a post on here, but I've recently decided to start a lifestyle blog and in the process of doing so came across this one. I don't know why I stopped now that I think about it.
I've decided that along with my new blog, I'm going to do new posts on here as well. I'm not going to advertise this one, so I don't expect many people will read it, but it's a subject I enjoy writing about so I'm gonna do it anyway!
I thought today I'd write a piece about knowing when to back off and when to press on. It's a fine line, but it can mean the difference between success and failure in this here game we play. For example I have a friend who is seeing this girl. Well, he's banging her anyway. Now at first she was all over him like white on rice, but recently she's been a bit more unavailable. You all know the story, doesn't reply to a message for a day where she used to reply straight away. Has an excuse not to see you where before she'd make the time. You get the picture. Nothing formal has been said, but he just gets the feeling that she isn't as interested.
So. What to do, what to do. Well this is where there are some simple rules that you need to follow. The reason they must be followed is that in essence there are only three things going on with this girl, and this can be applied to any other romantic situation where one party isn't putting in the effort they once were.
1. She has lost interest. If this is the case, then messaging her and trying to bring it back is only going to make you look desperate. Your only play is too back off and act like you're not bothered, even though you probably are, and hope that your lack of attention brings you back onto her radar. If not, at least you haven't shamed yourself by basically begging her to keep doing whatever it was you were doing.
2. She still wants you but is having doubts. Maybe she is worried it's getting too serious. Maybe she was cheating on a boyfriend with you and her conscience is acting up. Whatever it is, it's not that she doesn't like you, it's that there is something getting in the way. As with the scenario above, just back off. Again you don't want to come off desperate, and the best way to cure the doubts are to make her think about you. 'Why hasn't he text me?' etc. And then if she decides she doesn't want to carry on, you haven't debased yourself and made yourself look like a gameless chump. Obviously don't blank her, but don't chase her either, unless she makes it clear that is what she wants. The fact she isn't replying should tell you that is not the case here.
3. It's all in you head. Maybe nothing has changed and your just reading to much into things. In my friends situation, they are only smashing, so there are plenty of reasons why she might be a bit unavailable. So again, just back off. Do what you would normally do and play it cool. If she's still interested, she knows you have been messaging her so she'll get back to you when she can. If she doesn't, well then see number 1!
The point is, in none of these scenarios is being overly proactive a good thing. Don't overreact. Just sit back and let things play themselves out. You'll be glad you did because if it's scenario 1, the truth is you had no chance anyway. Maybe doing nothing is the only thing that will actually help. If it's scenario 2, then being clingy and paranoid is definitely not going to help. If it's scenario 3, then you have nothing to worry about and if you convince yourself of a problem that doesn't even exist, you might actually be the thing that creates the problem. Thats some Terminator quantum physics shit that we don't even want to think about!
So chill. If they want you, they want you. You won't have to try and convince them, and bombarding someone with messages is definitely not the way you would anyway. As with most things, taking a step back and letting the dust settle will leave you with a much clearer view.
And if worst comes to worst...pshhhhh...onto the next one homie!
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